Glassware on a wodden Tray

Feb 22 2019

Escort Basics: 10 Tips for the new Hobbyist

This is an Article I wrote for Erotic Monkey and has been of help to many a hobbyist.


Before I started working in this business full time, I started out as a client. I was looking for a girl to hire for a threesome for myself and my boyfriend at the time. Living in Las Vegas, escorts and porn stars are kind of part of the normal entertainment fair here. And while being a confident single and attractive white woman, I would meet and befriend strippers, escorts and such while just being out and about. However, I felt odd asking them about their business and did not want to impose upon their good will. So I approached it just like any major decision, and did my research and went through the same worries everyone does while wading through misinformation. After separating the wheat from the chaff so to speak ... here is what advice I can give to those looking for the first time to book that perfect encounter.


1) First Impressions Matter - So be NICE. You are looking to have one of the most intimate encounters that human beings have with each other, so take the time to read what's in the ad. You will get a lot of info there. Be respectful and let's treat everyone with the kindness and respect that simply being a human being affords us. If a girl prefers to be contacted via email ... do so ... if she prefers text .. do so ... calling is awkward since if she is an independent she might be otherwise disposed right at that time ... and whatever mode of communication ... intro message should probably consist of something more than "Hi" or "Are you available". I know that my calendar tends to get filled up quickly so 24 hours or more notice is probably best.  And knowing when and where and who you are, helps in getting the right information back to you. :-)


2) Don't ask lewd questions because there are legal ramifications that go along with that.  Remember that an escort exchanges her time for money which is legal in all 50 States ... a prostitute will exchange performing specific acts for money ... which is only legal in Pahrump, NV, and then only in certain licensed establishments. If a face picture is required .... don't send a picture of the little head instead. It won't impress us and personally... I will add an idiot tax to my rate as a result ... if I choose to continue to speak with you at all. There are specific forums and cam girls that you can have an erotic conversation with, conversing with your escort to set up an initial meet-up.. is not the place to do it. While we are on the subject, you do realize that those in the legal profession are allowed to lie ... right? They are even allowed to commit minor crimes. I mean it would otherwise be just too darn easy. Ever watched an episode of COPS where the drug dealer asks the guy if he is police ... and the police guy answers no .. and then once the deal is done promptly gets arrested? ... yeah ... so all that "are you affiliated ... " or "take a nude picture to prove ... " does nothing. The best way to make sure that you won't get your name in the papers is to keep to this one simple rule (and it is so very simple) ... money for time is fine ... money for acts can get you, flack.


3) It's all about time. For a real escort, as I just mentioned, time is our most valuable asset, so let's not waste it. Don't show up 30 min late for a 1-hour appointment and expect to get the full hour session. If she can still accommodate you .. great! ... but that is out of the goodness of her heart. Don't berate someone for being a "clock watcher" and expect to stay 30 min past your appointment time when it is an hour appointment. There is no industry out there where a person gets hired for 1 hour of their time, where this would fly. If your personal trainer won't stand for it, why would an escort?


4) You get what you Pay For.  Would you walk into a 5 Star Restaurant expecting to pay Happy Meal Prices? Of course not! So don't expect it from an escort. There is a saying in the restaurant industry ... if you can't afford to tip ... don't eat out. There are escorts in all sorts of price ranges ... and if her asking price is out of your range ... don't try to haggle her down on price .. especially if you have already seen her and you know that the price vs. value. Would I pay $50 for a Fully Loaded Maserati if I were offered it? Of course! But if you have ever seen these scams on Craigslist or eBay you know that the chances of running across that angry ex-wife that is selling the latest model Porsche for $5 to get back at her soon-to-be-ex ... is not very likely.


5) All-Inclusive / No Upsells Pricing. There are several reasons to look for this terminology.  First, did you ever book that bargain airline flight because the price was so low it blew you out of the water? And then, once you factored in the cost for overhead storage usage, baggage fees, and the "oh you wanted an actual seat with a seat belt and oxygen" fee ... you wind up spending more than had you booked on a major airline. Well, the same is true if you shop on price alone. If you see an extraordinarily low price you can rest assured that it usually means there are "upgrades" to pay for in person. Now the second reason is as I already mentioned .. legally this is opening up a can of worms. Putting a price point on sexual acts is illegal. Putting a price point on the amount of time spent together is not ... or otherwise half the bosses who had ever slept with an employee would be in jail. #metoo :-)


6) Don't click on "verification links" .  Unless the girl has major reviews and is charging $1,500 an hour, there is really no need to click on "enter your credit card here to prove you're over 18" type of links. These are usually scams and are probably the only good thing to have come out of CL and BP crackdown due to the FOSTA-SESTA debacle.


7) Go to reputable sites and Include where you saw the ad you are responding to .. While SESTA-FOSTA has thrown a major wrench into this industry ... and removed free postings as we knew them  ... the good news is that despite it all ... cream will still always rise to the top ... and the more reputable sites have as well ... of course (as erotic monkey will attest to) ... while the benefits are that sites are offering verified profiles and such ... the bad news is that costs for everyone have skyrocketed ...With no free postings left ... advertising is getting more and more expensive ... eros for example on average charges $400 - $1,600 a month .. and even the "less expensive" options still will cost $200-$400 a month ... and competition is high and with each website charging an arm and a leg ... and SESTA-FOSTA necessitating now advertising across multiple websites and channels ... the costs add up over the month ... and knowing where our customers come from helps us out on where to continue to concentrate our efforts so we don't have to pass the cost on to you. Not to mention it adds an ounce of trust and validity to the approach and makes the provider feel more at ease ... and just like your clothing choices ... which website you used to do your research on .. is as telling about your personality and expectations as wearing those torn jeans with the Brooks Brother's Blazer :-)


8) Don't Use a Service Unless you are looking for Volume - If you want a quality encounter and not simply role some high stakes dice on if it will work out or not, deal with an independent provider. If you are looking to hire 20 girls for a night, then a Service is the only way to do it. Just remember though that it will feel much more like a business transaction and dealing with a salesperson than living out this erotic GFE fantasy.


9) There are Jerks on Both Sides. Enthusiasm is a better indicator than looks. There are women who are in it only for the money. And then there are women who really enjoy their craft and the money is a very nice way of saying "job well done."  I mean ... I am sure you enjoy what you do for work as well .. but you tend to enjoy it a lot more when you are able to collect a paycheck each week (or other week) that allows you to pay your bills and hire an escort from time to time lol. And then there are the people in the office .. or the cashiers .. or whatever ... that really hate what they do and are only there because they have bills to pay.  So yes .. there are providers (just like there are clients) that are jerks. And you can't underestimate that not all personalities gel with each other. And no .. not everyone is honest (I have heard horror stories from both sides of getting robbed and rolled and whatever else you can imagine). And if you look at what all these things that ruin an encounter have in common is that there is a lack of enthusiasm for the craft. The key is to separate the non-compatible providers from the compatible ones. Not every provider is perfect for every client after all. And vice versa.


10) In the end ... It's not about the Sex but the Brain - This is true in a variety of aspects. For example, if you want to impress an escort ... pay her double what she asked ... and that will impress her a heck of a lot more than any claims of how "big" you are or how skilled your tongue is. After all ... we are the professionals that are being hired by you. We (unlike you) get to have this amazing sex pretty much on a daily basis and probably several times a day. Touting that you take a shower and won't harm her are not exactly selling points since those should be a given ... on both sides. In addition to sexual prowess not being a very good "negotiation tool" as I have already said .. in the US ... money for sex is not legal. Money for time is. And how that time is spent is decided by the brain. The Brain, in the end,  is the biggest sexual organ and if you think back at what is the difference between a "meh" orgasm and a "holy mother of god I just died and went to heaven" orgasm ... it was not so much about the mechanics of sex but the passionate soul connection of sex. And this only happens when both parties feel safe and secure and genuinely want to be there.


Hopefully, I have touched on some of the most important aspects of deciding on an escort ... if you have any questions or comments ... please feel free to ask.